Entering Someone’s World with Compassion and Interacting through Participation

Posted on 07/24/18 by Russ Corley

This past month, I witnessed Pat Ward involved in two aspects of ministry that are important but often neglected in our busy world of fast-paced change: Presence (really being with someone) and Participation (immersing yourself in their world of thought and action). These are not sophisticated techniques that require years of college education and technical expertise. They seem elusive in professionalized ministry, yet they embody the ministry of Jesus. 

Presence (being with someone) and Participation (indwelling someone’s world)

Years ago, I met a couple from Kentucky at Vanderbilt University Medical Center (VUMC). The husband was very sick, and his wife was with him constantly in the hospital and through a long rehab. During the long months at VUMC, I saw them often, and we became friends. After they left rehab, they moved to Nashville to live with their daughter. I made visits to the house, but they were not often as before.

When Pat Ward began working part-time during the summers, she would stop by this couple’s house twice a week! She was lavish in her time with them, talking and listening with genuine interest. When Pat would leave, the wife would tell Pat with a wry smile, “Remind Russ that he is getting a little behind, and we have a diet coke waiting for him in the refrigerator.” When the summer ended, Pat’s visits became rare until the following summer.

A few years ago, the husband died, thus isolating his wife more. A few people from her church checked on her, especially one wonderful woman who became like a daughter to her.

Last year, through the generosity of our supporters, Pat began full-time work with EM. One of the first things that she did was to establish a regular rhythm of loving visits to this woman’s home.

Pat does more than go by and listen. Our mutual friend took up coloring a few years ago to fill time with something creative. I stopped by for a surprise visit when Pat was there. Our friend showed me some of the coloring that she and Pat had done together. As she talked about their shared project, her eyes sparkled with love and joy. As we talked about other things, Pat and our friend updated me on what had been happening in our friend’s life. It was clear that through many conversations, Pat had drawn her out to elaborate the details of her life and had listened closely with interest.

As people grow older, isolated, and physically limited, it is an enormous challenge. Pat has been with her through good times and bad. They have shared meals out. Pat has provided transportation to doctor appointments. This woman considers Pat to be another daughter. When she talks about Pat, I hear the love in her voice and see it in her eyes. There is no quick way to describe that kind of relationship.

Both presence and participation are important, and there is an underlying factor that motivates and suffuses both: the love of Christ in us. Without love, my spending time to be with someone will be tainted by impatience. Without love, participating in someone’s world seems shallow. In love, I am able to enter and indwell another’s world. In such graceful moments, we share the joy of being together in the presence of God. In doing this, we glance a fleeting insight into the depths of the beauty of the incarnation, God with us in Jesus, the Word become flesh and serving us in love at the point of our greatest needs.

Thank you for providing the financial support for this kind of relationship-intensive ministry where time is not spent in meetings and planning projects (those are very important things) but where time is allocated to being with a person and participating in their world in love. It makes a difference, and it honors the unique meaning and inscape of people made in God’s image.

Encouragement Ministries, Inc. is a 501(c) (3) nonprofit organization. We exist through the generous financial support of the friends of Encouragement Ministries. If you would like to make a donation to help our ministry continue, click here. It makes a difference.